No hiding here...

"...But what she couldn't see most of all...was that those people were nothing compared to her.  They were matches to her bonfire. She was the last cowboy - all romance and failure. The world was changing and her kind didn’t have anywhere to go.  Being a beacon of hope for lesser people is a lonely business."


...quoted from Mistress America, a movie that makes you think, smile and reawaken inside...it makes you want to find life not hide from it...

I'm in love...

You know that feeling when you finally come across something that makes you grin ear to ear. Something so good that you don't want anyone to know about it for fear, they'll say something like, "Yeah, I've seen that show" (and the tone is blah) or "You liked it?" (as in what are you thinking in that mind of yours?")

So I'm not sharing this BIG news with anyone and lucky for me, who really reads my blog?

But oh am I happy. Very very happy. Simply overjoyed. You see, I first had love at first sight when I discovered the British show, Top Gear. Add a veggie burger and a sangria and winning the lottery doesn't compare to what happiness that simple combination brings.

But then yesterday after a long day at Baby Gap, I settled myself onto the sofa with a big blanket, popcorn and vitamin water. The kids were happily playing at the park with Sunil.

Flipping channels, I couldn't find anything...until I saw a vintage car speed past the screen. Um, wait what was that?!

It's called, Counting Cars, my new love on the History Channel. Oh. My. Gosh. I watched three straight episodes without moving. Got up. Hugged children. Made dinner. Continued the show. Correction, MY SHOW. I tend to be a bit possessive about things I truly like. My mom very wisely taught me that if you don't want to hear someone's comments on something, don't advertise it. Smart woman.

This show blends a love for all things cars, especially the offbeat, the vintage, the muscle cars, the never made again ones...and the host of the show pulls over to check them out the same way I brave car accidents just to take a photograph of one. We must have known each other in our past lives.

Here are some images, you'll just have to see if for yourself...

A Gem of a Day

Yeah, that's me. And whatever happiness I am feeling in this photograph as a wee one for school, I felt today. The sun was shining, the wind was breezy, and my soul was on fire. Now mind you, if I tell you what I worked on majority of the day, you will most likely think I have lost my mind. But truthfully, I gained more today than I have in a long time. I was only on about five hours of sleep. I had worked a 9:00pm to 2:00am shift at Gap Kids - inventory night. I've gotten into this "sleep mode" where I'm actually thinking about a million things with my eyes closed. Don't laugh, I get it from my mom, God bless her.

I was so motivated today and there was one person that I felt was overseeing my entire operation...my dad. No matter the situation, the circumstance, the weather, the time, he and my mom made life - they didn't let life make them. If you have passion within you, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

I had quite the huge agenda on my mind. 

1. Finishing organizing/gathering all of the 2016 tax documents, statements and receipts.

2. Organizing an enormous pile of never been organized Sunisha Designs docs, receipts, invoices and memos for 2016 taxes.

3. Enrolling those little necessary but irritating bills online so that the Internet Gods can happily pay my bills when my checkbook is on vacation in the dresser drawer.

4. Make hotel reservations for Sohan's STEM camp this summer.

5. Check email and actually reply where needed.

6. Plan out the event calendar for Sunisha Designs.

7. Watch the Daytona 500 from beginning to end. From start to finish. And enjoy every sexy minute of it!

8. Stretch legs. Tell the kids I love them and hug them.

9. Get up and drink water, maybe remember to eat lunch with hungry children nearby. 

10. Smile profusely because this kinda focus doesn't come everyday.

11. Hear mom and dad's voices reminding me of strength, independence and motivation.

12. Thank at least two people via text for being the amazing people that they are. I just love doing that. I picked my kiddos' gifted teacher, Ms. Jones and my great friend, Geoffrey, who I voice mailed.

13. Keep going even though social media, blue skies and the race cars are whooshing all around me.

14. Look for apartment rentals, more on that someday...

15. Let the kids and hubby play at the park for a much deserved release because I must must must finish and finish I did!

Ooooooohhhhh. I felt fabulous. Proud, Giddy, Really happy. Marvelous. I collapsed onto the sofa, turned up the NASCAR volume and settled into a beautiful mini blue bottle of a Schmitt & Sohne Riesling. Perfect size for petite me and perfect for enjoying a thank you God, mom and dad moment. 

So you see my dearies...spas, cruise ships or ridiculously expensive designer fashions don't entice me one bit. A day like today brought me true joy. When I am reminded of my strengths, my focus, my passions. That relentless hungry fire to pursue, persist and finish. Stopping to love, pausing to smile. Sure, who among us would be joyful to do taxes on a lovely Sunday afternoon along with all the aforementioned items? Me.

Fascinated?

Stripped

It's quite difficult to nail down my top five Depeche Mode songs. Each are so unique in sound and raw emotion. But here is an attempt...

Black Celebration
World in My Eyes
But Not Tonight
Stripped
Policy of Truth

One of these in particular has been on my mind, Stripped. Funny thing is that with its title, people have misunderstood it to be a song about well, the stripping of clothes. But on the contrary, David Gahan explains the real meaning here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj2M0lUOL0A

And here is the video which I love even more. The creativity in the way its filmed is right up my alley! The black and white footage, the angles, the visual effects, the car being smashed...it is truly an epic video...it is truly Depeche Mode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8UfYdKHvs#action=share

Three Wise Men

Three Wise Men

Okay, these are not the three wise men you are thinking of from way, way back. But rather, these are three strangers that left me quite an impact...let's start...(to save time, I didn't add the conversational quotations!)

November: I was visiting a house inspection, something I really love as I love all things construction. When I finished, I nearly fell into a hole of mud in the front yard. A few men were doing the landscape when an elderly man said, Oooohhh, you be careful! I would'a caught you right up in my arms! I laughed and replied, yeah, that's just how clumsy I am! This is what I love about these hardworking individuals. Rain or shine, hot or cold, they are out there working with the happiest of disposition. This gentleman was easily in his 60's and yet had the demeanor of someone whose grandkids must gather around to hear great stories at night. I pictured him playing at a jazz club somewhere but that's just me. A stranger to me but what an impression of sweetness he made.

December: Yes, I had been watching quite a many Hallmark Christmas movies with my kiddos. Santa was in every form in those movies...influencing lives, adding positivity, taking the bad out of the good...all that stuff. A usual day at Gap Kids became a Hallmark movie moment. A lovely senior couple walked in. As a good employee, I greeted them and asked if they needed any help. The gentleman smiled proudly and said his wife did all the shopping and he did all the paying. I instantly loved his sense of playful humor. As she shopped, he came over to the cash register where Katie and me were chatting about store logistics. I knew he was up for conversation so I asked about his grandkids...with a hearty smile I got to know all about them! Following that was the description of his kids, all in their forties, married...he said he taught them that trust was the #1 one thing to always have in a marriage. He points to his wife and says, fifty years and never once did I question anything. He adds with a chuckle, and she's more beautiful now than she was before! I told him I add would one more thing to trust and that was respect. To that he replies, YES! If someone is not respecting you, making you feel down, leave them! And with that, his wife swiftly said it was time to go. I smiled and said, you were meant to come in today, weren't you? He smiles just like Santa Clause would and says, I sure was. I know for sure, he was Santa. That message could only be delivered by someone who was makin' a list and checkin' it twice.

January: I had just finished three hours of emceeing a Chinese New Year's event at the mall. It was absolutely amazing but boy was I exhausted and very very hungry! I head straight for the food court and settled on a toasted Subway veggie sandwich. After I paid, the sweet kid who made my sandwich smiled and said, did anyone tell you you look beautiful today? I laughed and said, no! Well, you look beautiful...do you work in the mall? No, I said, and told him about the event I just came from. I told him he made my day and thanked him. Let me just say, what a brave soul. I hope that kid goes far in life...too often people are scared to say what they want to and I really applaud someone with guts like his.

So these are the three wise men...strangers that I will most likely never see again. But guess what? They are no stranger to kindness, bravery and humor and those are the three wisest things one can have, no?

Hey Mash, it's 2017

Dear Mash,

I found them. The letters we used to write to ourselves with our left hand. Good grief, that handwriting looks better than how we write with our right hand today. I'm glad I wrote to you, to us. I think it's so important to acknowledge who we are, where we've been, where we are going and who we have become through the journey.

No one can steal your light Mash.

So with it being the new year and my handwriting not that great, I'm writing to you here Mash. So listen up because you have rode many roads and so many exits took you off your path. Get back on and hit that pedal...

• And go full speed and let the naysayers and the backstabbers pass you by, in awe. They missed out on getting to know one great chick.
• You've flown on a helicopter. Sped your way on NASCAR. What's next Mash? Hint, don't stop.
• I know. I know. You put everyone first. You remember to surprise Sohan with cinnamon goodies from Publix and Paneras. You remember that Saloni loves fruit snacks. You stock Sunil's wallet with cash so it's never empty. But beyond that and a million other responsibilities, you are always looking out to make sure everyone is okay. Don't forget you, k?
• When you end something, it doesn't mean you gave up. It means you knew when to let go and knowing that difference is huge.  
• Your whole life has been about change...moving residences, letting go, giving things away, saying goodbye, opening doors, accepting challenges, breathing life into a blank canvas and letting the paint fall beautifully. This is you...red carpet it.
• Project eX, promise me you fulfill this.
• I think you scare others. Because you are you. You know your flaws, your goods, your bads, your insides, your outs. You love you and that is scary. Funny isn't it?
• But in that same way, you are vulnerable, emotional and sensitive in the most intense way and so what. Man oh man, forget the notion that being sensitive is a bad thing. Makes you one heck of a poet.
• Shakespeare and Pablo Neruda. God bless these lovers of love. If they knew how much of an influence they have on you...wow. Keep that passion ignited Mash...it is so fiery and feisty. Let your love be old fashioned, let your dreams be of things that only movies declare to be true, and let your heart beat to songs only you can hear. This is to live.
• You would drive 500 miles for 15 amazing minutes...don't you change that amazingness.
• I know others may not see what you see in your photographs, but keep taking them for you. And as far as not being taken in others' photos, um, their loss.  
• Don't ever and I mean ever, forget your past. It is part of life's history. It's quite interesting how many quotes tell people to "forget living in the past" or "to live only in the moment". Thankfully, someone thought of creating the History channel.  
• And speaking of quotes Mash, I love these that you came up with:

- It's important to spend time with the devil so we can remember who our angels are.

- The best routes we take in life stem from our roots.

- How someone makes you feel is everything. No one leaves a job when the boss likes them. No one leaves a relationship when they are loved.

 - Money, fame, religion, possessions...nothing compares losing those to losing respect.

Happy 2017 Mash...love you as you.