Change? Love.

For as long as I can remember, my life has had one constant: CHANGE. I chose to put it in all caps because honestly, it truly has been the one thing I can really relate to. And I absolutely love it. I love the thought of life being like a fluid...moving, flowing, seeking different resources, finding different channels to funnel into. Kind of like watching clouds - no two ever alike and no two every stagnant. I really didn't know what it was like to have grown up in one home or one city past 5 years, (until my marriage in 2001), sounds funny, huh?

My parents were the most adoptive-to-change people I have ever known. In the course of their marriage, they lived in over 15 different residences, multiple countries and yes, multiple U.S. states. So growing up, my sisters and I didn't think much when it came time to move, when jobs came and went, when friends came and went and well, you get my drift. 

Now that I stand on a mountain of stability, I often put on my binoculars to seek out change. Don't get me wrong, I can work a good ol' fashioned 9-5 day, but throw a project on my desk or an unexpected challenge, and every sense is on fire. You see, this is where my whole thing about Plan B came into play. You know those days where you start out thinking, "I'm going to do x, y and z". And suddenly, the skies open up, it's pouring, your appointment gets cancelled on top of that and x, y and z get shelved. Enter Plan B. The secondary but often the more important to-do list that I keep handy in the off chance things change. And call it funny again, but I do gravitate towards all things "B". My grade point average was a B+ in college. I prefer the B-side tracks over what's played on the radio. And really good words start with B: beautiful, breathe, beach, baking, bliss, build, bicycle...

I really haven't witnessed any negatives in change. New schools, new jobs, new friends - they all present such great opportunities to learn, grow and ultimately teach us more about ourselves. Adapting makes you flexible, Challenges make you ask. And let me add that change wipes out fears of any kind. 

2015 has certainly been the year of change. Four residential moves. Beginning an exercise program with a personal trainer (after years of being allergic to exercise). Losing over 10 pounds. Designing a new space for my business. Learning about building design and inspection. And oh, all of us learning how to ride bikes (a B word!). I have felt my strongest this year and I really think it has a lot to with greeting these 365 days with a welcome mat for change. 

So while I'm about to write my to-do list for tomorrow, page two will have a special title at the top: Plan B. 

Tell me what you see

What do you see in these photographs I ask? A vanishing point? A hidden forest? A lonely path? An escape from the day? Do you feel fall, winter, spring or summer? Does it evoke Halloween, Christmas or New Year's Day?

People see things so differently. What began as one photograph became an experiment for me. How I love vanishing points! Views that allow your mind to wander and think, what's ahead, what's at the end? Personally, I find that each of these photographs carry a completely different mood. Color, light, angles...can change a photograph as it can its interpretation. 

So, tell me, what do you see?

I'll keep climbing

Thank you INXS.

For everyday that seems harder to walk, I'll walk a little further, I'll look a little higher and I promise, I'll follow in my way.

"The Stairs" INXS

In a room above a busy street
The echoes of a life
The fragments and the accidents
Separated by incidents

Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements

Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs

Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs

Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements

The nature of your tragedy
Is chained around your neck
Do you lead or are you lead
Are you sure that you don't care

There are reasons here to give your life
And follow in your way
The passion lives to keep your faith
Though all are different, all are great

Climbing as we fall
We dare to hold on to our fate
And steal away our destiny
To catch ourselves
With quiet grace

Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs

Listen to by the walls
We share the same spaces
Repeated in the corridors
Performing the same movements

Storey to storey
Building to building
Street to street
We pass each other on the stairs

The Open Road

Yeah the open road it calls to me

not sure what I'll see,

Don't care for any kind of store

warehouse discounts I deplore,

Show me where the skies are free

just miles of breathless infinity,

Show me how the pipes are laid

the effort it takes to get these roads made,

Let me glance to the left

where endless grasses by winds are swept,

I move my eyes to the right

and see how the sunlight shifts to night,

This is where I am happiest

I have nothing to fear or conquest,

I let go of my watch and maps

and all the daily human traps,

My senses are heightened and I'm enamored

sure my lips are red, I still love glamour,

But I'm an open road girl yesiree

won't you come and ride with me?

A tank of gas and my favorite songs

this is God's gift, it's where I belong...

Hi Dad

Hi Dad,

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I think of you everyday. An in fact, I wish you were here more than ever, because you might laugh at how my interests have changed lately. Remember how much I loved hearing about the chemical plants you worked at? The projects, the engineering drawings, the complexities of power plants massive in size and power? Building design, power plant design and the distribution of energy via coal, chemicals and electrical power? Okay all that stuff! I wish you shared more about your day, but I'm glad I learned what I did. So along those lines, guess what I've been learning and studying? The intricacies of building design. I loved studying it at UCI - remember my classes in urban and regional design, architecture, social ecology...oooohhh, it's all coming back now. 

I've been studying site planning, building inspection, building codes and what goes into making a building a building (as elementary as that sounds). I find it so fascinating. I don't think everyday people know what goes into making a slab of concrete a beautiful house. We moved into a new development in a neighborhood called Tamaya in late February - I love it. So let me explain how I fell into learning so much about home infrastructure. As mom taught us - say hello and talk to everyone - you just might learn something. Well, you and me being the Saggitarians that we are, we talk to everyone! And getting to know the builders (also known as superintendents), the inspector and the related building staff has been awesome. I learn so much just hearing about their day, what they have to manage, what they have to follow per house and city codes...wow, it is quite the job. 

I have a profound respect for their professions. They not only have to be meticulous, well-read and caught up with ever-changing building design codes, they have to manage a sea of workers from plumbing, electrical, stucco, water, gas, sewer, concrete, flooring, drywall and appliance companies (I know there's more). On any given day, a builder might oversee 11 different homes with 110 different issues. And an inspector may inspect anywhere from 25 to 50 homes in various stages of development...in one day and in completely different corners of town. That simply amazes me. And oh, let's not forget the homeowners that are calling them or rather chasing them down! 

Thanks to you dad, I take a lot of interest in what they do. It's built a deeper love for the home we live in. It's made me smile knowing how many different chemical engineering plants you have managed and are still burning brightly. I am amazed how professions such as yours and theirs touch so many lives yet no one gets to thank them. I'm making sure to thank them every chance I get. 

I miss you Pappa. But my new-found love for engineering, building and design makes me feel like you are here on earth more than ever. I picked up the latest copy of Road & Track magazine (I haven't changed my taste in cars!) as it had the newest Ferrari models on the cover. I just know that'd make you smile...

The Sidewalk

A freshly poured sidewalk is so beautiful isn't it? Smooth, young and ready for adventure, it has no idea what is about to happen. It stretches out proudly, sparkling under the sun. And then comes life.

The trampling of feet driven by the need of empty consumerism. The roller blades and bicycles, the skateboards and scooters. The incessant clatter of traffic and talk. Satellites and street lights from above look down upon it, trying to fathom its stillness. 

Oh sidewalk, what happened to you? Once so new and beautiful, now you look years overdue. 

You have withstood sun and wind and rain. You have endured hearing so many people's pains.

Over time, the wear and tear has shown its face. Cracks and fine lines are starting to leave their trace.

Reckless chewing gums and spilled coffee, leaving their marks along with sticky toffee.

You sit and you wait and give your all. On so many occasions handling so many others' falls.

Cars have rear ended you. Weeds have grown through you. 

But you are still lovely to me dear sidewalk. What an inspiration that you have not changed no matter what others have done. Whether the daily news was gruesome to hear or whether the weather left you with no shelter, you stayed. You let us walk all over you never asking for a thanks. Maybe someone left you a lucky penny or a ribbon fell from a little girl's hair. You are lovely still my sidewalk. Falter not in my eyes. Gently sanded by the erosion of time, I feel the pain of your thoughts. There are a few among us who can know what you know and realize all that we've lost. 

Let the rains wash upon your face, be it weathered and old.

No rainbow at the end of street can shine like you, certainly not any pot of gold.

There is something to be said about genuineness and generosity and being real.

You are something all too close to what should be and what we should feel.

What drives people to superficial perfection? The ridiculous notion that all must be right?

I'd give anything to have your stance, your proudness, your might.

Life calls so I must go and you are beautiful still.

Oh sidewalk don't you let them change you, lay there and be still. 

Dear Car Manufacturers,

My dear car manufacturers,

I've loved cars since I was a kid. Perhaps it's because my Mummy really wanted to have a son after having two daughters - I have photographs of me wearing bow-tied suits and some amazing polyester dress pants. And don't get me started on the years of "boycut" hair. 

Fast forward to my teenage years and in lieu of having Tom Cruise or Kirk Cameron on my wall, I had an exquisite framed poster of a shiny red Ferrari 308 GTS. Yup, here it is...that very image...

Little did I know that somewhere along the road - no pun intended - that car would feed my love for speed. It was 1987 when we moved to Bombay, India. There were no road rules, no speed limits, no driving rules really. It's where I learned how to drive a stick shift among the cows, cars and people and what an amazing experience it was. I know you may not have heard of the Ambassador, (photo below), but let's just say it could seat many people and it was quite the gas guzzler. Tatas, Fiats, Marutis and other brands were all over the road and when the wee hours of the night were available to me and my friends...fun things happened. 

Don't worry, there were no seat belts in the car so we didn't break any seat belt laws. And there were no speed limits, so we were okay in that department too. Worli Seaface was the place to be after going to a club or party. All of us would squish each other in the car and turn up the music really loud just so we would have to talk even louder over it. And there lay the beautiful open roads of Bombay. Dotted with street lights and roadside vendors selling jalapeno-filled grilled cheese, every sense was on fire. Moving back to America in 1992, I remember those roads and the speed a lot. My first test drive in a Toyota Corolla landed me on the wrong side of the road (hey, I first drove in Bombay, okay?).

All those years later, at 43, I still have a love for speed. NASCAR? Better than watching the evening news any day. My car history is pretty plain: Toyota Corollas, Nissan Muranos and now a BMW X3. And while the latter does fuel the road pretty fast, where am I supposed to go in Jacksonville, Florida over 35 miles per hour?

So I ask you...where oh where are these "Closed course. Professional driver. Do not attempt." roads that you advertise in your head-turning commercials? I mean do you honestly think you can tease us like that? You play a really cool song, add a good-looking guy, a gorgeous open road and then fuel it with fast-paced images of your car speeding down a road I have never seen and well, is a closed course. I'll go through all the driving school needed if that's what it'll take for an invitation. 

So hopefully, I have your attention and I'll be happy to give you my address and phone number. My driving record is good (okay, a few speeding tickets, but nothing was over 85mph - even though I once went 103mph...ssshhh). I really don't want to be caught at the age of 88 flying down a road, so if you would love to see me smiling at 95mph on one of your courses, my birthday is December 9th. Just saying...

The Demise of Dressing Well

When I got married, my husband laughed when I mentioned I had never owned a t-shirt. No really, I wore my first t-shirt at 28. My very stylish mother banned them...and I never argued why. She believed a shirt with a collar that was ironed screamed "I'm here" vs. "What's up?" Today I see t-shirts ad nausea. I am so tired of t-shirts being the comfortable go to at restaurants, vacations, cruise ships...with everything and anything splattered on them...and that's only one part of today's dressing dilemma. 

According to Businessweek Magazine, things have gone downhill over time. “In the past decade those seemingly harmless polo shirts and khakis have spawned a five-day sartorial office free-for-all that's led to low-cut jeans and 'tramp stamp' tattoos.”

I apologize to anyone who may think this is offensive but when it comes to fashion, people's interpretation of 'casual' and 'appropriate' differs immensely. And I mean immensely. Sure, people love Casual Friday offerings of jeans and flat shoes but others use it as an excuse to exercise self-expression. And the latter as I've personally witnessed is quite a disaster. Flip flops as I grew up seeing...were only seen on the beach - not the boardroom. Tank tops at a Fortune 500? Please! Sleeveless tops to address world news? I don't want to see a man's underarms on an HDTV screen, why a woman's?! And don't get me started on cropped pants on women - we were ridiculed as kids as those being called "floods" for a reason.
Regrettably, society has gone so far past the style spectrum, I'm not sure we can reel them back. Some people simply don't have the desire to dress well in a way that is self-respecting. There's too many walking around that really need a pink slip from the fashion police. I miss policies, dress policies that is. And if you are as old as I am, you'll remember what I mean. Just watch an episode of Mary Tyler Moore or the Dick Van Dyke Show - now that's class. It's why Mad Men has such a following - refined dressing at its best.

It's hard to talk seriously with someone about your bank account when you're the one wearing real shoes and an actual outfit and they are in a sleeveless dress and flip flops. What's wrong with this picture? And I wince at how many teachers must either stub their toe or get stomped on in their fancy sandals.
I must take a moment to thank the men of the world. Thankfully, they are not strutting around in t-shirts, flip flops, cropped anything or sleeveless muscle shirts at work. In fact, history proves that the news has always been delivered by men in suits, women, ah yeah, not so. 

Clothes have a beautiful language of their own. They communicate who we are and how we want to be respected. Why else do movie stars pay ten of thousands of dollars for top stylists to dress them or even organize their wardrobe? They need to be dressed in a certain way to send out a certain message - to their fans, the media and directors who could send them potential jobs and scripts. Gwen Stefani was once asked how she always looks good. "I dress knowing I'll be seen so I make that extra effort." A simple philosophy that too many could easily apply with five extra minutes in the morning. 

Sure, freedom in fashion and freedom of expression do go hand in hand, but kindly express what you will at the mere knowledge that all of us get to see you. And impressions in dressing well go a really long way...

The Week in Review

I could very well focus once again on my lovely broken boned left foot, because today marks five weeks since I fell off my bike. But I'm not.

I want to write about this whole week, the first week of Saloni and Sohan's summer vacation and the first real week of me taking baby steps to walk. It was such a full yet relaxing week - sounds weird right? But I guess I mean full with activity and great naps. Joy and laughter and sleep-filled nights. And even stopping to try a pickle (the kids are out to reform me in the pickle eating department). 

Saloni started her 1/2 day theater camp at Players by the Sea and while she may be the youngest there, she's up for trying anything and I love that. She honestly makes me want to get on stage, but I fear about a third of Jacksonville would leave the city if that happened. Sunil and I had a lovely dinner date Wednesday after a really long time - dessert and everything - I was in heaven. Sometimes you just need that uninterrupted time with the one you love so you can remember the color of their eyes and how intelligent they are. Sohan and our neighbor, Parker, enjoyed a drop in day of gymnastics and loved it - honestly, where were these camps when we were kids? Oh wait, my parents never allowed us to go to camps, never mind. 

Blue sky summer...except for the second paragraph below

Then there were all the little in-between things...Sohan always holding the door open for me wherever we went and making sure my crutches fit. Saloni asking if I was okay if about 10 minutes of silence went by (does that mean I normally cause a ruckus?). Sunil talking about all the new developments happening in the city - how he keeps up with everything that goes on in the world is completely beyond me. Catching up with friends over the phone or texts - always feels good. Running into all my favorites in the neighborhood - our builder, Dan, our neighbor, Jim and our inspector, Inspector Gadget - that's what the kids call him - who by the way, out of pure kindness, dropped a pizza by just because. Made my week...

And pardon me as I wish you could see my expression as I write this next line - IT RAINED this week! Yes, no pitter patter, I mean splitter splatter - beautiful gushing down droplets of pure awesomeness. I even left the front door open to  feel it's intensity. Okay, so now you know I love rain and have been waiting weeks for it. Thank you weather Gods, it's always nice to know you hear my prayers every now and then.

I did begin this week by finally walking (yes baby steps) into my studio - hadn't gone in since my fall...just seeing all of my Sunisha Designs "stuff" made me really hungry to work again. So I started cleaning and organizing and ooohhh, it felt so good. Ideas in my head were flowing, the kids started crafting and when Sunil popped his head in after work...well, it was a Kodak moment...

I know not every week can be this fulfilling so I just want to put my feet up and reflect. I want to be thankful for all the builders and construction workers and teachers and friends and family and well just about everyone I guess. Collectively they make the world come together in a most extraordinary way. Don't you think? 

I'm ready for the Olympics

So last night marked the three weeks since I tumbled off my bicycle. I am able to laugh about it now because I just don't know the who, what, why about it. It was very scary, very bloody and the lovely pink scar on my left cheek, hands and legs are ample reminders that I am blessed more bones didn't break outside of the ones in my left foot. I do know that it hasn't shaken my love for riding at all. If anything, I am so hungry to get on the bike again. To feel the wind in my hair, see the clouds floating by and hear my favorite music in my head.

But in the meantime, crutches have been my go to for getting around. And let me just say that I am pretty darn proud of how quickly I've gotten used to them. New bruises have formed under my arms from them pressing against me but I figure that's just my body saying, "What the heck are these things?!"

Here's why I think crutches should be an Olympic sport:

1. The last time I hopped was in elementary school. Now I hop everyday darn day. And the length gets better every time.

2. Humans should be trained to fetch things with their mouths too. I can now fetch plates of food, keys, cups and washcloths with my mouth...it's quite exciting really. No wonder dogs are so happy.

3. Crutches somehow cling to things, especially if they have a strap. I won't list how many lovely things have been (successfully) dragged by me. 

4. Crutches teach you to balance like you never have before. I thank my right leg and foot every night. Doing laundry, washing dishes, making dinner...on one foot? Yeah, Olympics baby!

5. If there were ever a category for being the slowest...I could win hands down. The battery charged motor cart in the grocery store? A definite Olympic feat. Who on earth created the slowest motor vehicle in which you can safely read every ingredient on a Cheerios box while still moving? And that lovely beep beep it makes when you reverse? Every store camera has caught me blushing with that sound.

6. Going to the bathroom with crutches...sorry absolutely no details...other than the fact that again, balancing on one foot when trying to grab toilet paper? Yeah, another Olympic feat.

7. Driving with crutches in your passenger seat does help in the drive through - you get sympathetic glances and offers for extra help. No gold medals but right now I am loving drive through anything - Bed, Bath, Beyond and Target are you listening? 

I see the doctor next week and while my left foot is the size of two feet combined from the swelling, these crutches have become my best friends in a very literal sense. I lean on them. I count on them. And they are everywhere I am. When I am fully mended and can walk again, I'm pretty sure these crutches won't go to Goodwill. They are going to stand proudly somewhere where I can be reminded that my Olympic calling has yet to happen...

Chapter 2

Today, Chapter 2 began...

Happy Memorial Day...

The 25 and okay, 10

Just for fun, because well, why not? And in no particular order...

25 things I really love:

1. Rain, not pitter patter but more like thunder showers

2. Milk chocolate or anything with the word, Ferrero Rocher

3. Nascar, yes one day, I want to, I must drive like those guys

4. Speed, in other words, all things fast

5. Depeche Mode, all things Depeche Mode

6. Sports, something I didn't grow up much learning or loving, but thanks to my husband, I love everything about sports, well not the "lied about steroids or deflated balls" part.

7. Music, can't live without it.

8. Long drives

9. Trees, I can photograph and stare at them swaying in the wind all day

10. Movies, romance, travel, sports, foreign - can't do horror, violence or sci fi, sorry Harry

11. Seinfeld, need not explain that I live by this show, the whole family lives by this show

12. Nature and weather shows because they are reality, not a reality show

13. Ziploc bags

14. Baby wipes, a mother's best friend

15. Being goofy

16. Supporting mom and pop restaurants

17. Buying from local businesses

18. My parents

19. My family - I can't replace waking up to my trio of everything wonderful and inspiring

20. The color green

21. Trident cinnamon gum

22. Creativity in any form

23. Architecture

24. Honesty

25. Paying it forward

And just for kicks...

10 things I really detest:

1. Jealousy

2. Competition, sports yes, people not

3. Bugs

4. Lack of manners

5. A flimsy handshake

6. Heat - shade is better

7. Clutter

8. Discounts, offers, organizations, freebies, just for women. Really? Let's be fair here.

9. Explicit lyrics

10. Stupidity, yes, plain ol stupidity

To be a person, yes a very thankful person

Since I last wrote, life took a bit of a tumble...for me anyway. Last Friday, I fell right off my bike and plummeted my face right into the pavement. 

The evening sky was beautiful. Mosquitoes were out. And our traditional after dinner ride was just about to wrap up. 

I was riding alongside our daughter, Saloni while Sunil was up a bit ahead with our son, Sohan. All I remember was chatting with her and the next minute...my head in a pool of blood. It was awful and I had no idea how scared the kids and my husband were as I was making no sense and couldn't see. I could hear voices and feel a million mosquitoes biting me. The next thing I know? In an ambulance - felt like I was in a movie.

I'll fast forward to the bit of good news...mild concussion to the head but no broken bones or skull fractures. A very botched up, bloodied face but whew! Thank God for just that. 

Bad news? Five broken bones on the top of my foot. Ouch! Crutches for four to five weeks...blessed that that is it. But for me, immobility is darn hard! 

My trio has pitched in way too much already. Saloni makes breakfast and all the lunches. Sunil sets the table, cleans, organizes. Sohan helps both of them and planks plenty of kisses on the "good" side of my face regularly! 

I'm praying this time passes fast...but it's giving my time to be thankful for my great great kids and loving amazing husband and friends who have all come to the rescue. To Judy, who took me grocery shopping and laughed with me as I rode the 5 mile an hour scooter and roared when it beeped going backwards...and picked up my kids from school. To Staci, who graced me with gorgeous tulip flowers and home cooked lentil soup. To Charlie, who brought balloons and flowers and Dinosaur books for Sohan. To Pixie, who gave me a wonderful energy massage, essential oils and arnica tablets to help my ailments. To Dan, who said my arms would look like Popeye's in no time because of the crutches! To my sis Heena who always makes me laugh when I need it.

I know I'm just a person out of millions. But right now, I'm the most thankful grateful person because without all the love and honest to goodness support from my trio and friends...I wouldn't be smiling under all the bruises. 

A Bicycle

A week ago today, I began my journey on learning how to ride a bike. Nervous, sweaty-palmed and blushing as crimson as the roses in a California garden, I thought the process would take months. When I went that Monday morning to Academy Sports, I had to tell the sweet salesman, "I'm 43 and I've never ridden a bike, what do you recommend?" 

Thankfully, I had the best cheerleaders - my trio of kids+husband and a great teacher - our builder, Dan. Who in the sweetest Southern accent had said, "You get yourself a bike and I'll teach you how to ride it." When he saw me attempting to teeter out of the driveway, he pulled over and said, "Ready?" Aaaahhhh, no! By Tuesday, I was on. Pedaling. Moving. Bicycling! Whether it was the baseball coach in him or the Dad in him, he was as patient as I could have wished any teacher to be. Plus who can resist the comedy I provided veering way left and way right?!

I can't exactly explain what a huge impact learning the bike has had on me. I was in a pool of tears on Tuesday - simply overwhelmed knowing I had finally learned something I had waited so long for in my life. Wednesday, sore as an athlete (but without their physical prowess!). Thursday, back on the bike and officially done with lessons. 

The kids had had Sunil as their teacher the weekend prior. And honestly, the way he taught the kids so quickly, I just couldn't have. I thought I'd have to have band-aids and water and kisses on hand...instead, within an hour, our daughter was racing down the street. And within a day, our son was as cute as could be...falling, getting back on, falling, getting back on and suddenly, a pro. Sunil? Self-taught and well, he's cruising now...

Movies made me want to ride a bike all the more too - all the actors made bike riding look so smooth and easy. Gliding through beautiful tree-lined streets...whistling a tune. (There are never mosquitoes or traffic in these films!) But thankfully, something inside of me was so determined and so hungry to make it work that it did and now, I want to ride that bike all the time.

Perhaps the most beautiful poetic moment for me was when the four of us set out in the evening for a ride. Sunil said, "Honey, we're now one of those families that can ride their bikes together!" It got better...it rained. Don't laugh, but I have always wanted to ride a bike in the rain. Yes, movies may have had a bit of influence on that! But seriously, the wind, the rain coming down, my favorite songs in my head...we were soaked by the time we got home. Loved every second of it.

While I'm not ready for hitting the streets or parks yet, there's a whole world that's opened up for me and I darn better go ride it.

Random and Sweet

I quite like an unorganized blog of my own. I am so set on being organized in most every facet of my life that throwing thoughts on "paper" here is lovely! So too is my thought process of photography - random yet connected to something that hits a note. 

I know none of these photos are related but they are very connected to me. It's daily life. Moments that will be gone yet cherished. 

A receipt, A recipe. A letter. All written forms of a "specialness" in time. And then there's photography that helps to visualize what is happening right before us and gives us the gift to share it with others...I just love it. 

Thanks Pappa, you loved the camera and passed it onto me...

Observation

It's easy to get caught up in the malay of everyday life. Let's face it...dishes have to be washed...errands must be done and laundry know no bounds.

But then I get out. And whether its meeting a friend at a restaurant or attending a business event, I love observing people. I'm lucky if I get to hear an interesting conversation. And what's even more fun is guessing the relations between people. Are they on a date? Are they married? Wow, that guy should be a model...

What's lovely is catching them so immersed in conversation that a fire wouldn't even distract them. That's kind of how I know my friendship is solid. When I'm with a friend, it doesn't matter who walks in, who leaves or what the weather is...when the concentration is just and that person, you know you have a true friend. 

And while I get teased that I don't want any new friends, it's only because I truly love the ones I have. And what better than to give them my 100%? Not that I won't stop to take the time to smile and get to know others because while I'm observing someone, someone is bound to be watching me...

Depeche Mode

I will never know a band deeper or more beautiful than Depeche Mode. When I popped onto the web last night, I learned that David Gahan's son had gotten married in Israel. Although the wedding was a secret, pictures and videos leaked and it was really sweet to see the fatherly side of one my idols. There he was, a proud Pappa, next to his family with friends cheering the newly wedded couple.

All but a few days may pass that I don't listen to Depeche Mode. Their lyrics, the richness in music, bass, everything really...takes me back to many a youthful days. And thankfully, my kiddos like them too. U2 comes in at a very close second. I have very high regard for bands who don't use expletives or unintelligent verse to sell their music. And when their videos equally demonstrate emotion and depth...I am completely hooked.

A grocery errand can suddenly become a walk down memory lane with the right song. Although not everyone can relate to my absolute devotion to this band, I don't really care. If I can ever personally thank the band members for what they have brought to my life with their music, it would easily add to the years of my life.

Thank you Depeche Mode, thank you very much.

Drive

There's come a time when a girl must stop picking up her husband's slippers. Not out of any disdain but more out of looking beyond...

And so that girl did just that. And she drove past the usual exit for home and she drove and drove. It led her to 10 West. No intention of where the road was to lead her. Amidst the trucks marking man's need of consumption and the jangled bits of roadside rubble, lay an open road. The swaying trees beckoned. The music filled every inch of the car. Pure exhilaration.

Past the pastures of innocent cows...past the perfectly lined orange tractors...past houses so quaint in their existence...it was 63 minutes of uninterrupted time. Clocking a speed topped at 83.7 miles per hour, there was no laundry, no errands, no calls to return, no remembering a dish in the sink.

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The only thing you could hear was the sweet sound of a soul on fire.

Riverside morning

Memorial Park is rarely a quiet place. Well, unless you find that lovely niche in the morning-ish hours as the sun kisses the lapping waves of the river. Birds, flowers, water, nature...you don't need anything else.

Those lovely encounters

Of course at any major social event, you get excited to see people you don't see everyday. But I get a little more excited when I can get past the usual "Hi, how are you? Good? Nice to see you!" 

And so it happened at a wedding we went to this past weekend, where a conversation sparked this very blog post. I was talking to very good friends of the family...okay...I'm just going to name them - Indu aunty and Sudhir uncle Agarwal - two of the nicest people you can find yourself with. Honestly. She was gushing about her role as a grandmother and how happy she is to have so much time with her. How she loved the presence of two car seats in the back seat signifying the pick ups and drop offs that she so enjoyed. And what I loved most is her passionate stance against the term "babysitting" when it comes to being with your own grandchildren. How accurate! Why in the world is it that when anyone, and I mean anyone, else watches or is with children other than the mother, it is suddenly babysitting?! I mean why are dads subjected to this terminology as well? 

She proudly said she calls it "bonding" and even puts that on her calendar. Is that not adorable? Imagine writing "bonding time with Jane" vs. "babysitting Jane on Sunday". And so the photographer/recorder-of-anything-that-moves in me told her to get it all on camera. Think about it. We are so busy capturing the lives of little feet we love and their smiles that we forget years from now, they'll want to remember our busy feet and smiles too. 

Photograph the car seats as they squeeze in. Brushing their teeth. Riding their bikes. Washing their cute faces. It's the everyday we so love and cherish so why not capture it? No offense to anyone who loves a professional photographer but it is very boring to find photo after photo of posed smiles in albums and frames at homes. I'll take the "in-the-moment" stance anytime. And don't get me started on holiday cards that arrive and suddenly the natural beauty of perfectly fine looking families are airbrushed into a magazine-like perfection while wearing matching white shirts. God made freckles and wrinkles for a reason.

Every now and then I'll get asked by friends to photograph an event. I do warn them though that while I'll definitely capture those posed smiles, there'll be unrehearsed details that I personally love on camera. It could be the way the sun falls on the bride. The way beautiful Indian sandals dangle off of a crowd of women in the audience. Or an innocent child sneaking over to the dessert tray. Ooooh, I love those moments!

So back to Indu aunty and Sudhir uncle, kudos to you both for thoroughly enjoying your "grandparenthood", Know that in ten, twenty, thirty plus years, those beautiful moments you had with them will soon be shared with their kids one day. They'll want to remember you cooking, laughing, being with them. So get your camera out and play. Don't even ask them to smile...just let them be...and if they are old enough to hold a camera and click that button, even better. You'll be amazed at how they see you and what they think that lens should focus on...absolutely everything.

Walk on...,

So between the time of selling our home in January and moving into the new one in March, my dear husband had the idea of renting different properties to explore our favorite parts of town - the beach and Riverside. These are two very distinct parts of Jacksonville but both have one thing in common - you can walk to everything - something we love and had missed in our lives.

January was our beach month and oh what fun we had. No only were the people good looking, no really, but incredibly friendly too. Everyone was either walking their dogs, running or skateboarding...getting the most of the great outdoors. And the vibe of the beach is so incredibly laid back. I don't know what it is. The salty air? The swaying palms? The morning birds? You just immediately feel calm and at peace even if you are in the crabbiest of moods.

And because about 90% of our stuff is in storage right now, we suddenly have time on our hands. Did I say that out loud?! Time? Us? It's quite a beautiful thing not to have to figure out where eight pieces of Tupperware should go or why eight pairs of socks are missing their partners. I for one have brought the least amount of clothing and I couldn't be happier. Getting the kids ready with only their limited options is pure joy for any mom, especially me, I love things simple.

So back to the beach...we collected shells, played ball, stared at distant ships and watched birds fly by. We walked to restaurants for dinner, for breakfast and I even went to my first Dairy Queen! Yeah, I'm usually quite late to discover things...I was proud of myself for visiting almost every small business on A1A and supporting quite of a few of them with great items for myself and our future home. It's something I don't get time to do regularly and as a business owner myself, supporting others feels good.

Now we've shifted to Riverside, lots of walking and a riverfront park right across, but a different vibe. I have yet to walk over to the shops - such a cool eclectic mix - in fact, so cool, I hope I fit in.

What I've learned so far is that being "stuffless", not a word,, but you get what I mean, is so incredibly liberating. It's like you lose this imaginary weight from your mind and body. I know we are going to enjoy this last month being renters and I am going to keep my commitment to living lighter. Goodwill is my best friend - the guys there actually recognize us!

I'll write soon again, but if I don't, I might be outside walking...

Writing...aaahhhh

There are so many different reasons for blogging. For me, I loved the visual nature of it. Being able to post both printed thoughts along with images captured that day or week or month...

I stopped writing to catch up with life I suppose. Sohan and Saloni were growing and those early years when they are grasping and cooing and talking are so beautiful. My business was in different directions and well, something had to give.

I realize now though that I'm writing this blog for me. Sure I enjoy having an audience out there like you (thank you for reading) but if no one reads this today, that's okay. Shortly after my dad had passed away, I went through his desk and found a treasure trove of diaries he had written but never shared with any of us. He made notes from books, penned his own thoughts and even made comments on daily occurrences...I was so touched and much needed-to-be-released tears came flowing. I am guessing he had the same pleasure of putting his thoughts on paper as I do - well, in this case, on a computer. I leaf through those books every so often. Even more touching is when my kids ask me to read an excerpt from them, oh how I love that!

In more recent weeks, reading articles from our friend and local newspaper columnist, Mark Woods and seeing the detailed diaries and journals of our daughter, Saloni had me itching to write again. And even wonderful essays from my favorite UK magazine, Red, made me think, "Manisha, let's blog again!"

Perhaps I may forget to edit and check my grammar. Perhaps I may not write for days or write too many times in one day. In any case, there are so many rules on the road of life that I follow everyday...this blog's for me, speed bumps allowed

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Till next time,

Mash

Back

Perhaps it is the change in the air, the breeze on my skin...

But I am back on the writing board. Feeling stronger than ever to write...so happy and inspired.

More to come...

A Spring Welcome from Sunisha Designs

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Monday Music

Just thought I'd share my top eight songs of the moment. Mind you, some are old, some are new and some are just so:

1. Counterpoint by Delphic

2. Last train to London by ELO

3. Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People

4. Allison Road by Gin Blossoms

5. Non-Believer by La Rocca

6. Kill by Jimmy Eat World

7. Overdue by The Get Up Kids

8. On the Tower by Sondre Lerche

January, a quick cool breeze

Perhaps it's because we have kids. Perhaps it's because this is one of those years there's already so much going on. Whatever it is, January flew by ever so quickly. But I have to say, this is the most organized start to a new year I've had ever. I love it!

We started out by gathering all of the fresh oranges from our tree in the backyard and making the sweetest orange juice. And when you can start the year healthy, you just feel good, you know? After all this has been one long cold Florida winter. Believe me though, I'm not complaining at all. I've in all kinds of weather and all kinds of cities, so this suits me just fine. Besides, I'm finally getting some fabulous wear out of my boots and jackets.

Midway through the month, we awoke to icicles on our trees plants and grass. It was like a flashback to our Rochester days. The kids couldn't believe it and I couldn't stop taking photos from the front of the house to the back. When the sun came out, you could see the most beautiful colors in every icicle. I could have spent all morning outside.

The kids have enjoyed this month despite the cold. Heading out to play football in the evenings or just for Saloni to run around is always fun. She definitely has the most energy out of the four of us.

So one Saturday, Sunil was inspired to try a walk on the beach. We must have piled on several layers of clothes because it felt like it was hard to walk! What an awesome morning it turned out to be. Saloni picked up so many cool shells and feathers, she said "this is best discovery trip ever!" And Sohan stayed tucked in the stroller trying to stay warm. It was freezing but invigorating at the same time. Love love love being so close to the beach.

I am hoping that the way the year has started will be how the year will unfold. Like a fresh glass of orange juice, like a colorful icicle and like a family morning at the beach. Here's to 2011

The Season of Many Happies

It's not easy knowing that while December is my favorite month with it being my birthday and Christmas, this year, it's a birthday without my Dad. You see, we were born on the same day and so, it's a bittersweet day for me, but I'm thankful for every year that I have my health, family and friends.

This year, I felt like I had a birthday week with each of my best friend's taking me out to lunch or breakfast. Talk about feeling loved! It's a real blessing to have a few true friends vs. 100 fake ones. I've always believed in quality over quantity, I mean with time being as limited as it is, who would want to waste time with someone who doesn't make you feel good? And at 39, I'm loving the people I choose to hang out with, you know who you are!

And speaking of feeling good, my hubby and kids made me the cutest cards. With Christmas around the corner, getting the decorations up and seeing the twinkle in everyone's eyes made me smile. After all, I may be feeling a little low without my Dad, but that would be no reason to deprive us holiday lovers the spirit of the holidays, gifts and all. And how lucky we got with having two Christmas weekends. One weekend with Sunil's brother and his family from Sarasota and one weekend with just us. Oh yeah, now the kids think we'll be doing this every year!

Well, it was a long year but like I said, when you have your health, family and friends, you can safely say, you have it all. God bless everyone.